Apply to be my online bitch

This is the first step of your Application process. It should be accompanied by a TRIBUTE! My time is a precious luxury. Where to send?

iWantClips

LoyalFans

OnlyFans

The effort of reading your slobbering ramblings will probably be torture in its own rights, so do your best to be articulate. Use proper punctuation. Do not use abbreviations, your inadequate piece of hanging skin between your legs is the only abbreviation I can tolerate!

If you will manage to successfully complete this first task, and not be a grammatically and mentally challenged dolt, I will most likely interview you further. I want to know all about your intimate weaknesses and your most shameful secrets, which I will stir and expand deeper and deeper into your ugly pig skull all day, every day, even while you sleep!

Be patient! I receive tons of Applications on a daily basis, so don’t put your pants on your head, fred.

If you do not receive a reply within a week, this means your Application was deemed irrelevant and unworthy by yours truly.

Insert coin and try again!