Quarantine journal day 16: Be strong, bitches!

I have received so many messages from you guys since the beginning of the zombie apocalypse. Thank you all, and i hope everyone’s healthy.

I urge you to go deep on your dongs all day and night, gotta boost that metabolism!

I plan to come online at some point, to feed your need for parasocial interaction with your beloved but absent Goddess, and keep you boys indoors. We’ll fight boredom together. No, you will not cum!

I have been isolating for 16 days now. I’m handling it very well so far, because i’m well trained in not going out for days on end, all of my hardcore gaming days are paying out now!

I try my best to stay positive, and do things i haven’t done in a while, like catch up on my reading. I workout every day. I think i binge watched half of Netflix and spending over 8 hours a day playing World of Warcraft and League of Legends.

I went to the supermarket on Friday, first time outside since March the 13th. I looked as if i was off to rob a bank, doing parkour through the aisles. Have you watched The Walking Dead? That was me, picking cans of food while running through random people trying to stay away! I made it entertaining, imagined i was playing some game. My coping mechanism is fun like that. I now have supplies for at least 1 month, other than my backyard.

All in all, my advice to you other than the obvious ‘stay at home’, is to occupy your time with things you enjoy. Like Porn, and gooning your brains out. See it as the sabbatical you envied your hipster coworker for.

Exercise regularly! That old ‘I have no time to hit the gym’ excuse no longer works! Binge watch your favorite shows. Put on some music and dance naked in front of a mirror. Film it and send it to Goddess!

Gather your best friends on Skype, get stoned and have a gooning party! If you have no one to talk to, feeling sad and lonely, drop me a line — i’ll be around.

And remember, like all things, the Zombie Apocalypse will, too, pass. It’s important to keep our minds and bodies healthy, active and entertained… by edging for days and not cumming!